


sorry (if i dissed you)

by thefrontbottoms



Category: The Front Bottoms
Genre: M/M, honestly this is kind of bad but also sad, theres sex so it makes up for it i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5315399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrontbottoms/pseuds/thefrontbottoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian hates that he feels like this. He hates the way Mat feels, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sorry (if i dissed you)

"Hey, morning." Mat smiles, standing in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal and listening to music. Brian can tell he had a good night's sleep. He's glad. Mat deserves to sleep well.

"Hey." Brian pours himself a cup of coffee and sits down at the table.

"What do you wanna do today?" Mat sits down on the other side of the table. He looks happy, almost peaceful. Like nothing in the world is wrong. He looked like he could die right there and it'd all be okay.

"Um. I don't know. What about you?

"Well, I plan on going grocery shopping once I get dressed and all that shit. Wanna come?"

"I think I'm gonna stay here, I'm feeling a little sick." Brian does feel sick, just sick with himself. Today's gonna suck.

Mat nodded and got up from the table to wash out his bowl. "Do you need me to pick up anything?" He dries his hands on his sweatpants and looks towards his boyfriend.

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." Brian stands up and presses a kiss to Mat's cheek. "I love you. Be safe while your out, okay? I'm gonna take a shower."

"I love you, too. Feel better, okay?" 

"I'll try to." Brian calls as he walks towards the bathroom.

Things aren't right. For Brian, anyway. He knows that Mat is beyond happy. He knows Mat's in love with him. He can't get enough of him. And it feels nice, it feels really nice. He thinks about all of this as he lets the water run over him. He can't keep this up anymore. There's no way.

Mat's his best friend and he can't pretending like something is there. There's no way he can do that to either of them. God, he feels like shit. He shouldn't have said 'i love you'. That's gonna bite him in the ass. He's gotta do this today. He's gotta do this now. As soon as Mat gets home. Fuck. He's running through his head trying to find a good way to do this but there is none. No matter what he does this is not going to end well. Jesus Christ, what did he get himself in to? 

Brian here's the front door open. How long has he been in here? He shuts off the water and wraps a towel around himself. He shakes his hair off because he can't be bothered to dry it off and heads down to the kitchen where Mat's putting away groceries.

He can do this.

"Hey! Feeling better?" Mat doesn't even have to turn around to know Brian's standing behind him.

"Yeah, the shower helped a lot." 

Mat turns to face and Brian and smiles. "Looking good." He pauses for a second, his smile changing to someone not so innocent. "Hey, how about after I put these away we go to our room?"

Fuck. Brian can't do this. "Who says we have to wait?" Brian walks closer to Mat leans down to kiss his neck. God, he deserves to go to hell. 

Mat moans quietly and tilts his head, allowing Brian more access and he takes advantage of it. He's an asshole. Maybe he does love Mat. He doesn't see why he wouldn't. He loves Mat. He's going to make himself love Mat again.

The couple continues to make out as they head to the bedroom, each casually bumping into things on the way. Mat lays himself down on the bed and Brian climbs on top of him, his towel struggling to stay around his waist. He lifts himself up and makes Mat go with him to take off the smaller man's shirt. He intensifies the make out and unzips Mat's jeans, sliding them down along with his boxers. He yanks them off the rest of the way and tosses them across the room then does the same with his towel.

"Wanna ride you." Brian mutters as he kisses down Mat's chest. Brian sits up and reaches into the nightstand for lube, they don't use condoms because neither likes the feel. 

Mat's about to take the bottle when Brian coats his own fingers and starts to finger himself on top of Mat. 

"Fuck- Mat." Brian's moaning lightly, his eyes shut tight as he pumps two fingers in and out of himself. Mat feels like he could cum from just watching, but doesn't because that would be embarrassing. "Jesus- Fuck. I'm ready." Brian pulls out his fingers and wipes them on the bed sheet.

Mat puts his hands on Brian's hips as Brian sinks down on his dick. They both let out an obscene moan when Mat bottoms out. Brian moves up and down and Mat meets him half way, slamming his hips into Brian. 

Minutes pass and Brian's leaking on Mat's stomach and they're both close. Mat's thrusts are getting sloppy as he grabs Brian's dick and starts to pump. He slides his thumb over the slit and that's all it takes for Brian to come. He rests his head on Mat's chest as Mat finishes inside of him.

"Fuck." Brian sits up and he's got his cum on his chest and Mat finds it kind of hot, but doesn't say anything. 

They go for round two in the shower.

-

It's two weeks later and Brian's not feeling any better. He's got to do this. He's got to do this now. Fuck. Okay. Breathe, he tells himself, breathe.

"Hey, do you wan-" 

"I have to talk to you." Brian cut Mat off. He has to do this. It's the right thing to do.

"About what?" Mat looks confused, not scared. He's not expecting anything bad. Fuck. This is going to be awful.

"I- Fuck. Okay. Mat I love you. You're the first person I have ever fallen in love with like this." Brian's talking faster than his mouth will carry him and Mat's trying to follow along, trying to understand what he's saying. "Look, I can't- I. Jesus. Fuck. Okay. We need to break up." That sounds too harsh, Brian hates himself.

"What?"

"We need to break up. I don't feel right being with you. No, no, that's not it. I don't love you anymore- fuck, that's not what I want to say. Fuck. Mat-"

"You don't love me anymore?" Mat's about to cry, he's about to lose it. "What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck, Brian? Is there someone else?" Yeah, he's crying. And he's yelling. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. 

"There's nobody else, okay? I can promise you that. I just- I don't feel like I'm in love with you."

Mat nods and the tears start falling faster. Brian wants to hug him and hold him close and tell him that it's okay but he knows that'll only make it worse.

"Okay." Mat nods again. "Okay. Um, pack an overnight bag. You can get the rest of your things tomorrow while I'm at work."

Brian doesn't argue. This was Mat's place to begin with and Brian broke his heart. It's only fair. It's only fair.

**Author's Note:**

> it's okay i hate me, too lmao
> 
> title is from trailer trash by modest mouse


End file.
